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Sex Acts Hall of Shame

By Gideon Rasby • May 1st, 2009 • Category: Sex Education

Question:
I just learned that a “dirty sanchez” was when a man and a woman have anal sex and then the man takes his penis and rubs shit on her upper lip, giving her a moustache! That’s disgusting! Did you know about this? (Cindy O., Albuquerque, NM)

What the...“Ready when you are!”Yes. A Dirty Sanchez is more famous than a Cleveland Steamer, but not quite as famous as the famous Shocker. There are a lot of things people do that aren’t going to be for you. It’s all perspective, though; people who do these things don’t find them disgusting at all. I met a girl from Texas that thought that doggy-style sex was disgusting and only for perverts.

Even though a Dirty Sanchez isn’t my personal cup of tea either, you have to admit that the name is creative. In fact, here are some names for sex acts I came up with that just don’t sound all that fun to me, personally. Here are my top 10. Fuck it, top dozen:

  1. Menage-a-claws
  2. The Vagina Pirate
  3. The Fish N’ Chips
  4. Square Peg, Round Hole
  5. Wishboning
  6. The Mud Shovel
  7. Missionary: Impossible
  8. Paddleballs
  9. Touring Viet N.A.M.B.L.A.
  10. That Won’t Fit
  11. The Coccyx
  12. Curried Chutes and Bladders
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